A Winter Cold
by Golurker
Summary: Somehow, a germ manages to get a cold.


So this one time it was the middle of the winter at Baikin Castle and Dokinchan was drinking like 2 gallons of hot cocoa, balled up in a blanket and playing video games on Baikinman's big old computer monitor. "This display is really bad," said Dokinchan. "It only has like 2 colors and really bad rendering. I wish Baikinman got me a smart tv and a gaming console for Christmas instead of a used coloring book and bubble wrap."

"Dokinchan, can I have some hot chocolate?" Horrorman shuffled into the room slowly because he was wearing 10 jackets and 8 pants because he was just outside, and it was cold and snowing outside because like I said it was the middle of winter.

"No Horrorman you can't have any hot chocolate because I drank it all and there is no hot chocolate left in the whole house."

"But isn't that hot chocolate right next to you there?"

"No it's not hot anymore, it's cold chocolate now and you can't have that either, because it's mine and I already drank from it."

Horrorman was struggling to remove his jackets, he had on so many layers of clothing he couldn't move his arms. "Dokinchan please help me unzip these jackets I want to have some soup and I cannot make the soup if I cannot move my arms!"

"You are a pathetic," said Dokinchan. She helped Horrorman remove the 10 jackets and at last he was free. "I didn't know we even had this many jackets. Where did you get all these from."

Before Horrorman could tell where the mystery jackets were from, Baikinman's UFO crashed through the ceiling. This was normal. Of course Baikinman himself was in it. The UFO was badly damged from the crash and Baikinman feebly climbed out of the wreckage. "Help me I am dying" he said.

"Don't exaggerate," said Dokinchan "This isn't any worse than all your other crashes and you don't look injured at all, now clean up this mess."

"I'm not injured," Baikinman groaned. "I am very sick and exhausted and hungry and wet and cold." And indeed he was.

"Oh! What happened to you?" said Dokinchan, now actually worried about him.

Baikinman flopped over onto his back and stuck his arms and legs in the air and waved them around. "Well you see, I landed on a frozen lake in my UFO and the stupid cheap idiot ice broke."

"But Baikinman, your UFO weighs at least 800 pounds" said Horrorman.

"Yeah I know that already, I built it myself."

"So why did you land on a frozen lake when it is so heavy?"

Baikinman was silent for a moment. Then he shouted "My UFO sank to the bottom of the lake and I barely escaped with my life! I don't need to put up with this criticism from a dummy!"

"Wait, if your UFO sank to the bottom of the lake…" Dokinchan and Horrorman looked towards the UFO that had crashed through the ceiling and saw that in its place was a huge puddle of water.

"In order to get back home I had to carve a UFO out of ice with my teeth," said Baikinman, shivering. "It hurt my teeth and now my gums have frostbite."

"Poor Baikinman," said Dokinchan. "You should rest in your warm bed and Horrorman will make you some nice hot soup."

They called the Kabirunrun over from the funky dance party they were having in the basement, which was a secret to everyone. The Kabirunrun carried their ailing leader into his horribly messy room.

Dokinchan did not like that his room was so messy. "I've been telling you to clean up for over 20 years, but you never listen to me. One of these days I'm just going to come in here and throw everything out." Baikinman responded only with a guttural scream.

Once Baikinman was safely tucked in bed, Dokinchan touched his forehead to see if he had a fever. It was so hot it she got a first-degree burn. "I'm going to have to get a thermometer, an ice bag and some medicine," she said, and ran off to get those things.

"I didn't even know germs could get sick" said Horrorman. And Baikinman stuck out his tongue at him.

When Dokinchan came back she was wearing her favorite nurse outfit, which was completely unnecessary. She just enjoyed dressing up.

"Dokinchan, you look very cute in that outfit!" said Horrorman.

"Yea I know dummy." Like everyone else on the planet, Horrorman thought Dokinchan was amazing and was always professing his love to her, despite her clearly saying she did not like him like that and that he was being creepy and should stop. Dokinchan's affections were reserved only for her beloved Shokupanman. And Shiratamasan. And also Signore Macaronino but he hasn't shown up in years so that's not as important.

Dokinchan stuck the thermometer into Baikinman's weird toothy mouth, and immediately the red liquid in it rose to over 100 degrees. "You have a terrible fever Baikinman! Tell us, how do you feel?"

"Well," Baikinman sniffled, "my nose is all clogged up, I have a terrible headache, my vision is blurry and I'm dizzy, and my ears hurt when I swallow."

"You don't have any ears"

"You see? I am delirious."

She taped the ice bag to his forehead since she didn't have anything to hang it with. "Horrorman, go make Baikinman some nice hot soup."

"What kind of soup should I make?"

"Just heat up all the canned soup we've got."

Dokinchan put another blanket on Baikinman and Baikinman asked, "Can I have my Kabirunrun sit here with me?"

"I don't think that's a good idea Baikinman," said Dokinchan. "Being around a lot of mold when you're sick could be bad for you."

"But germs thrive on filth! And they're cuuuute!" Baikinman was upset like a toddler who couldn't have their dog sleep on their bed.

Horrorman ran in balancing 20 or so bowls of nice hot soup in his arms. "Here is the nice hot soup! Now eat all of it Baikinm-" Horrorman spilled the nice hot soup all over Baikinman. Baikinman screamed really loudly, sat up and smacked him in the face.

"Now Baikinman, it is time to take some medicine" said Dokinchan, holding out a spoon and a container of grape flavored children's cold medicine.

"But that's grape flavored," whined Baikinman. "I want the bubblegum flavored one!"

"They stopped making the bubblegum one years ago. Now open your weird toothy mouth." Dokinchan poured out a spoonful of medicine and put it in his weird toothy mouth.

"It is disgusting." Baikinman hated medicine all the more because he was a germ.

Dokinchan said "You should try to sleep now, Baikinman. We will check on you in a few hours. I just remembered I forgot to pause the video game and I probably have to start from level one now." And then Dokinchan and Horrorman left Baikinman to sleep.

Baikinman got over his cold a few days later, even though he kept refusing to take his medicine. He had to build an entire new UFO because the lake froze over and it was impossible to get it out. Fortunately he still had the blueprints for it. Even after the ice thawed, he didn't get it back because he liked the new one enough that he forgot about it. It's still down there. Fish live in it now.

Dokinchan never got her own video game console.


End file.
